Live it. Forgive it.

So what am I here to do?
I have 8 days flat sitting. Here at the home of two spiritual beings. Two strong female companions. By myself. With cat.

What is important here? What really matters? Right now - getting myself on an even keel. Internally. And how do I do that?

I walk into the darkness.


Night time rituals.

Sadness to explore.

Fear to explore.

Soul to hear.

Desire a doorway to that sorrow. Why?
What is desire hiding? Masking?

An externalized push for connection, affirmation, relationship. Be that partner or child. An externalised reaching for love.

When did I leave my husband? When did I push that externalized version out?
When I realised I loved myself more than to keep putting myself through those relationship dynamics. When I loved myself enough to not need external affirmation.

And to get there again I need to get to the root of the sorrow and fear and shame. Yes, shame is there too. That's a surprise. Been a while since she reared up. And as yet she is floating, unconnected to any event. That definitely needs exploration. What am I ashamed of?

Dig dig dig. Tunnel down. Step into the black sea.


Feel it. Know it. Live it. Forgive it.

Live it.
Forgive it.
Love
Love
Love.

Wise Woman Warrior Queen Stand Up.
I shall soon be calling on you.

Mage Priestess Lover I need you now.
We will be journeying together this week.